A Disclaimer

This blog will hopefully be an interesting and relatively witty account of my time in Korea. If this turns out to be false, please don't read it, and accept my apologies.

Also, I have lived here for 8 months, so I don't have all the amazing 'I've-just-got-here-wow-look-at- that' stories. But I saw a woman walking down a street with a dog on her head. Stood up. On her head. These kind of stories I will share.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My School, Moustaches and Gyeongju. Without moustaches. Or Gyeongju.

Hello friends!

As I'm such a considerate man, I'm going to write a long blog today, and split it into 3 parts. It's 10am and I have finished my classes for the day, so I have what some would call a little free time on my hands. Of course been a teacher I am fully prepared for my classes for the coming weeks, and so I feel like I can do this. Plus, all this typing makes me sound like I'm working my arse 'bottom' off. (Theres a rumour going around that Mother is online these days, so I'm attempting to improve the language. Not the quality or spelling, just less language deemed 'offensive'.)

Right, 3 1 parts, My School. Moustaches, and Gyeongju.

My School

I made a lesson on shopping. There was an activity where the students had to guess the name of companies from a single letter. (Your probably thinking, 'Jesus you lazy bastard, get a real job', but it was way better than I'm describing it. I'll email it to anyone who wants it).

I began to feel bad, because I had to break the horrifying news to some students that McDonalds is not a Korean company. Or that Puma is from Germany. Some looked genuinely shocked. I almost felt like apologizing, which would have been ridiculous. I learned as much about Korean teenage boys as they did about where companies were from.

Also, the week before, I did a lesson on Tourism, with London as the location. I was considering Middlesbrough as the location, , replacing the Tower of London with the Transporter Bridge, Buckingham Palace with the Town Hall.

I could even replace the 'Ghost Tour -a magical bight time walk amongst the haunted streets of London' with 'beat-up-on-a-Saturday-night-outside-the-Hairy-Lemon-for-no-apparent -reason.' …..... the Queens Guards with Ray Mallons 'allegedly' corrupt policemen.

I say allegedly, as he was suspended on full pay (for 4 years!) for 'activities that could be construed as criminal conduct". I love this quote. This could basically mean anything from taping songs off the radio to a killing spree. Anyway, after the 4 years he quit and ran for mayor, and won.


Then again, London elected Boris Johnson, so maybe it's a mayor thing.

Anyways, I digress. For fun, the students had to name the 5 teams from London in the Premier League.

No prizes for the first name shouted;

'ManchesterUnitedParkJeSung!' (Apparently the full name over here)
'No, Manchester is a city in northern England (draw map of UK, draws Manchester on board)


'No, Bolton is a another city in northern England'. (Draws Bolton on map)

'Real Mad...no, no. Lisbon?'

'No, Lisbon is in Portugal.' (Draws an arrow of where Portugal is in relation to the UK)
'Manchester City?'

'No. Manchester City and Manchester United are from the same place. (Points at Manchester)

'Erm, Bbb, Lllll, Bolton!'
I'm not even going to begin to describe my discontent over the amount of coverage Bolton Wanderers get. There are adverts where the world famous superstar Lee Chung Yeong, playing for the Football giants that are Bolton Wanderers, scores a goal, and then the advert ends. That IS the advert. It's not FOR anything! Of course, he doesn't score that many, so it's the same bloody goal!

They have started showing Scottish football on the TV, as there's a couple of Koreans keeping Celtics bench warm. I'll leave my thoughts on that for another time. I will say this though, they won't be positive.

I was talking to my students in class the other day, and one had almost a pained expression on his face. So, naturally, I asked him if he was hurting. Was he sick?

He just kept shaking his head.
Then he blurted out,

'Sausage water.'

'OK, sausage water. I don't understand.' (But it WAS English, so I was determined to work with it, I'd get him to speak an English sentence if it kills me!)
'Sausage water, sausage water!'

Another student translates for him,

'Teacher, he needs to use the bathroom.'


The thing is, it kind of makes sense!

A Change of Heart

You know what, I'm going to leave the moustache blog. I fear it's totally irrelevant to this blog, and completely pointless. The only reason why I wanted to write it is because I love facial hair.

I'm also going to leave the Gyeongju blog until next time, it's too long. However, unlike the moustache story, it is relevant. You never know, it might even interest some people. I even remembered to take my camera. Although I did leave it on a bus. But then I ran after the bus and got it back again. Result!

For those of you who can't wait, (theres at least 4 people, including my Dad) heres a little morsel to keep you excited about the next story....

Gyeongju has nice bread.

One last thing, I found this online (again, in my free time, and ONLY after ALL my lessons were FULLY prepared.)

This is what I imagine a fight would be like between me and a Korean, except the sizes would be reversed. I love this video.


So there you have it, some 'scraps for the masses' for you all, as my aquatic friend suggested.

Now leave me alone, or I'll write about moustaches!


1 comment:

  1. I'd love to read about moustaches! That's what motivated me to start reading this one.
    I am always interested in any kind of beard/moustache/facial hair issues. Nice to hear other people's stories/experiences.