A Disclaimer

This blog will hopefully be an interesting and relatively witty account of my time in Korea. If this turns out to be false, please don't read it, and accept my apologies.

Also, I have lived here for 8 months, so I don't have all the amazing 'I've-just-got-here-wow-look-at- that' stories. But I saw a woman walking down a street with a dog on her head. Stood up. On her head. These kind of stories I will share.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

How much is that doggy in the basket?

Greetings good people!

Horticultural update: the 2 plants are alive and well. The third is still 'resting' underground.

These are my kids, there is a paternity dispute over one on the right, as I didn't technically buy it, but I've looked after it (albeit not very well)ever since. I know it's dead, but it's mine!

Also, the tall leafy one ( a Lily?) was lovely like 2 weeks ago, but did I remember to take a picture then? Did I fuck, is the answer. I'll give that one about 2 weeks.

Right, who died this week. I might do a weekly 'who's dead' section, depending on who dies, of course. It seem that people are dropping like flies at the moment. Take note Rolf Harris, you won't live forever, despite your outstanding version of Stairway to Heaven.

The definitive version there for your enjoyment.

So he's a re-cap of some of the newly dead;
  1. That small American actor, you don't know his name but you'll recognise his face. Cause of death? Awesomeness.

  2. Slipknots bassist. (still) Cause of death? Anonymity.

  3. Dennis Hopper. Was he in Easy Rider? I've never seen it. Probably should.

4. Liverpool FC. Technically not dead yet, but there's no sign of life.

More positively, it was a great week at school! No-one died, the students were great, and the World Cup begins in a week so everyone's getting very excited about it. I might have to change my sleeping schedule to accommodate all the matches, but it'll be great fun. This week I taught the kids about Wayne Rooney's head resembling that of a potato. I actually started this last week, they didn't get it at first, so I showed them a picture of Rooney..... Everyone was excited. I showed them a picture of a potato. Not so excited. Showed them the picture of Rooney AND a potato, said 'same'. Immediate success. So successful that the students came in the week after saying, 'Wayne Rooney, 'Mr Potato Head'. In English. It's great to think that they will be 500 kids in Korea cheering on the potato-headed one next month.

I was planning on cheering on good ole' North Korea. They are in a group with Brazil and Portugal after all, so they need all the support they can get. However, due to their recent naughtiness, I have formally withdrawn my support. I hope Brazil beat them 7-0 just to hear Jong Il blame 'America and the puppet government in the South.' Again. I wonder if anyone in North Korea will actually be able to watch it.* I don't imagine Sky has a foothold in there yet, and I'm not sure how widespread the broadband is. Although, some people must have it. In fact, The Dear Leader describes himself as an 'internet expert'. Whatever that means.

*just about to post the blog and I found out that South Korea were going to show the Norths games as a good will gesture. That would be until they sunk the ship. I make that 1-1 between the 2 then.

It was election time in Korea, which has thankfully passed. Number 2 won, in case you were wondering. He was always the favourite, and had my full support. Korean elections are similar to elections throughout the world in that hundreds of middle aged women line the streets and dance to passing motorists. Also present were speaker systems pumping out different songs for each of them to dance to. Sometimes you had 4 sets of ladies at a junction, dancing at the passing traffic, with a big picture of the man (all men) they supported. I'm pleased to report that the best dancers won, and I managed to get a cheeky picture of them as I was whizzing past on a bus.

I was at a traditional market and I saw some dogs for sale. Normally I would assume they are for pets, but now I'm not sure. I've have lived in Korea long enough to not see dogs purely as potential pets, but also as meat for a soup. Sometimes I catch myself checking out the dogs, and I have to stop myself. Anyway, these guys were way too small for a man my size, although I was tempted to buy this one. As a pet, obviously. It was only £10!

If dogs not your thing, there's also an excellent fish market, and lots of it is still alive! There's also a man with a bag of live frogs, he takes a frog out of the bag, whacks it over the head, cuts it open, guts and skins it. All in about 30 seconds. Whilst smoking. I'll try and get a video of it up next time. The man is skilled! He throws the 'good bit' in a bucket and the legs are still twitching. I feel sorry for the frogs in the bag watching their friends meet an untimely demise. But I suppose it's fine, they are only frogs after all! I never knew Koreans ate frogs, I shall have to try some sometime.

Now go on, off you go and enjoy your weekends!



  1. "The Dear Leader describes himself as an 'internet expert'. Whatever that means"

    One word... Porn... obviously

  2. Hahaha! Funny as mate.. got some strange looks at work laughing at my desk. Keep up the good work, and let me know if/when that plant on the right finishes resting and sprouts up again yeah?