How much is that doggy in the basket?

Greetings good people!

Horticultural update: the 2 plants are alive and well. The third is still 'resting' underground.

These are my kids, there is a paternity dispute over one on the right, as I didn't technically buy it, but I've looked after it (albeit not very well)ever since. I know it's dead, but it's mine!

Also, the tall leafy one ( a Lily?) was lovely like 2 weeks ago, but did I remember to take a picture then? Did I fuck, is the answer. I'll give that one about 2 weeks.

Right, who died this week. I might do a weekly 'who's dead' section, depending on who dies, of course. It seem that people are dropping like flies at the moment. Take note Rolf Harris, you won't live forever, despite your outstanding version of Stairway to Heaven.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPOIy4Kb9M4

The definitive version there for your enjoyment.

So he's a re-cap of some of the newly dead;

1. That small American actor, you don't know his name but you'll recognise his face. Cause of death? Awesomeness.


2. Slipknots bassist. (still) Cause of death? Anonymity.


3. Dennis Hopper. Was he in Easy Rider? I've never seen it. Probably should.

4. Liverpool FC. Technically not dead yet, but there's no sign of life.

More positively, it was a great week at school! No-one died, the students were great, and the World Cup begins in a week so everyone's getting very excited about it. I might have to change my sleeping schedule to accommodate all the matches, but it'll be great fun. This week I taught the kids about Wayne Rooney's head resembling that of a potato. I actually started this last week, they didn't get it at first, so I showed them a picture of Rooney..... Everyone was excited. I showed them a picture of a potato. Not so excited. Showed them the picture of Rooney AND a potato, said 'same'. Immediate success. So successful that the students came in the week after saying, 'Wayne Rooney, 'Mr Potato Head'. In English. It's great to think that they will be 500 kids in Korea cheering on the potato-headed one next month.

I was planning on cheering on good ole' North Korea. They are in a group with Brazil and Portugal after all, so they need all the support they can get. However, due to their recent naughtiness, I have formally withdrawn my support. I hope Brazil beat them 7-0 just to hear Jong Il blame 'America and the puppet government in the South.' Again. I wonder if anyone in North Korea will actually be able to watch it.* I don't imagine Sky has a foothold in there yet, and I'm not sure how widespread the broadband is. Although, some people must have it. In fact, The Dear Leader describes himself as an 'internet expert'. Whatever that means.

*just about to post the blog and I found out that South Korea were going to show the Norths games as a good will gesture. That would be until they sunk the ship. I make that 1-1 between the 2 then.

It was election time in Korea, which has thankfully passed. Number 2 won, in case you were wondering. He was always the favourite, and had my full support. Korean elections are similar to elections throughout the world in that hundreds of middle aged women line the streets and dance to passing motorists. Also present were speaker systems pumping out different songs for each of them to dance to. Sometimes you had 4 sets of ladies at a junction, dancing at the passing traffic, with a big picture of the man (all men) they supported. I'm pleased to report that the best dancers won, and I managed to get a cheeky picture of them as I was whizzing past on a bus.

I was at a traditional market and I saw some dogs for sale. Normally I would assume they are for pets, but now I'm not sure. I've have lived in Korea long enough to not see dogs purely as potential pets, but also as meat for a soup. Sometimes I catch myself checking out the dogs, and I have to stop myself. Anyway, these guys were way too small for a man my size, although I was tempted to buy this one. As a pet, obviously. It was only £10!

If dogs not your thing, there's also an excellent fish market, and lots of it is still alive! There's also a man with a bag of live frogs, he takes a frog out of the bag, whacks it over the head, cuts it open, guts and skins it. All in about 30 seconds. Whilst smoking. I'll try and get a video of it up next time. The man is skilled! He throws the 'good bit' in a bucket and the legs are still twitching. I feel sorry for the frogs in the bag watching their friends meet an untimely demise. But I suppose it's fine, they are only frogs after all! I never knew Koreans ate frogs, I shall have to try some sometime.

Now go on, off you go and enjoy your weekends!

x

Korea Mourns.......

I had a long weekend (Happy Birthday Buddha!) so I've been out and about Jeonbuk. On Thursday I went to the University in Iksan for a festival, if felt as if there were hundreds of stalls selling beer and food. A fantastic atmosphere, although we didn't stay all night, some of the people I was with had to leave early; 'I have diarrhoea!'

On Friday I went to Jeonju for a music festival. There were unsigned bands from Seoul, the final 2 are worth a mention. Kingston Rudiska are a Korean ska band fronted by a very cute boy, I am told. Not much of a Ska fan as a rule, but it was brilliant. Get Yr Skates On better watch out when I'm back in the UK! The last band were a reggae /dub band with a Korean woman in traditional dress singing Korean folk songs. Yes, I was sceptical too, but it was fantastic! As you can see, the venue was also fantastic.

So, turns out North Korea sunk that ship after all. Not the biggest surprise in the world. I'd have been more surprised if it just sank, as some of the newspapers suggested at the time. It turns out my theory that it didn't just sink because ships don't just sink turned out to be accurate. To my knowledge, they try really hard to design them so they stay afloat, to prevent any kind of sinking issues. It's just a little frustrating that both sides responded by whipping their cocks out in a show of masculinity (an argument for more women in politics?)and beating their chests Tarzan style, but after they get tired they'll zip the old boys back in, put a shirt on and start talking.

The thing is, it's probably quite difficult to talk to a leader who told people he shot 11 holes in 1 the first time he ever played golf. (Thats 36 under par, for you golfers out there.) Not bad for a first time. Or when the South found tunnels that North Korea were digging underneath the country, he insisted that the North was looking for coal. Whats even more amazing/ridiculous is that before they left they painted the tunnel black! 100% true, I've seen the paint! What I would have given to be in that room where the brains of the country met to discuss tactics.

'Erm, so, like, they caught us digging the tunnels.'

'Shit.'

'What shall we do?'

'Have we got any black paint around?'

'I'll get my brush.'

In bigger news, Korea was rocked (sorry!) this week by the news of Dio's untimely passing, causing shops up and down the country to hastily erect homemade DIO placards above shop windows. I'm constructing a life-size Dio made of cardboard to take to school as my assistant for the week in remembrance. On a personal note, I'm disappointed as it scuppers any chance of that Rainbow reunion I've been after. Dio, Korea loves you! You will be greatly missed. Well, a little bit missed. Maybe. Who is he again?

Oh, and my flushing tactic I employed on the plants seems to have worked. I'm delighted to report 2 out of the 3 plants are alive, and while I wouldn't say they look healthy, they are hanging in there. The other one faded pretty quickly, it had been mistreated quite badly over a number of weeks; the

food poisoning was the final nail in the coffin, but it was on the cards. But, as Meatloaf once mused, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!

That's 2 rockstars I've managed to squeeze into the blog. I've actually just found out the Slipkont bassist has died, and am tempted to write about himbut I'm going to refrain. First, he wasn't popular in the 80's, and secondly because he wasn't very good. I doubt no-one even knows his name, eternally known as 'Slipknots bassist'. .....

It's all quiet on the Pickle front, so I'll love you and leave you with a students review of Bad Boys 2

........In the end, the guys bastards die.

x